Song of 5 minutes

Down by Jason Walker

So True

[as she's watching the ending of the romantic movie]
Jamie: God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes. You know, I'd never have to worry about my hair, or having to go to the bathroom. And then when I'm at my lowest point, some guy would chase me down the street, pour his heart out and we'd kiss. Happily ever after.
[referring to the couple in the romantic movie, riding in a carriage at the end of the movie]
Jamie: I mean, a horse and carriage! Come on! That is...awesome!


Life would be so much easier if it was a romantic comedy, obviously there would be an angsty part in the middle but then your true love would track you down and pour out their heart to you.  I think I do believe in true love, that God's got a person out there for everyone and that when you meet that person you'll know.

Also I really LOVE this movie, I don't at all condone the actual friends with benefits thing but I find the movie hilarious and it makes me laugh out loud (literally lol) so I enjoy watching it (although I sometimes fast-forward some of the awkward parts because they're awkward).

Anywho bucket list, am I right.  (There's no question mark because it's not actually a question.)  

Song of the Day...and this one's awesome

It's a sing-a-long!  Everybody now!

Clarkson Knows Day 7

The Final Day of Clarkson Knows
Another one that gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME:


I know I shared this one a while back but it's my song of the day so just sit back, listen, and enjoy it again

Clarkson Knows Day 6

This isn't my favorite actual song, but I do appreciate the lyrics and since this is Clarkson Knows not Clarkson's greatest hits I chose Don't Waste Your Time

You Can't Always Get What You Want But if You Try Sometimes You Get What You NEED

Ok first, the above picture has NOTHING to do with this post, it just makes me chuckle so I felt compelled to include it.  Second, yes I used the glee cover instead of the original, so sue me.


This post is for all the ladies out there who put everyone else's needs/happiness before their own. . . . .this post is for all the ladies out there.  We are very caring people, we would rather be hurt ourselves than hurt other people so often times we just live with pain.  Well ladies, this isn't healthy.  Yes it's good to take care of other people, but you do that well unless you take care of yourself.

Example: you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you put the oxygen masks on your kids because if you pass out before you finishing putting the masks on everybody suffers.

Real life: you have to take care of yourself first (at least make yourself somewhat halfway content with your life) because if you don't you're going to be pissy (my brother's description, not mine) and then everybody suffers.

Being selfish even to the slightest extent is really hard, it goes against our very nature, but it's necessary for us to do our jobs right.  First step to taking care of yourself, be honest about your feelings and needs.  Be honest with yourself and be honest with those who your feelings/needs affect.  If you aren't honest and don't address your needs, nothing will change and things will deteriorate.

Sometimes honesty hurts, but it's gonna hurt worse if you let feelings stew so just throw it out there, rip the band-aid off, and address your problems.

Suggestion: start by being honest with yourself; take 15 minutes every day and write down things that are bothering you and what you can do/ask for to help change these things.

Another Suggestion: take some time every day just for yourself, do something you want, sit down with some coffee and read a book, watch tv, go for a run/walk, play with your dog, I really don't care what you do (as long as it's not a serial killer/stalker type thing) just make sure you're doing it for you.  Perhaps start with 15/30 minutes a day and go from there.

Final Suggestion: get a decent amount of sleep every night, aim for at least 6 hours (preferably 8), set your bedtime and stick to it.

All of this is way easier said than done (especially when it involves telling people potentially hurtful honesties - it's a word now, tell your friends) but it's something that's gotta be done so do it, grow some lady-balls and just do it.

Ok, it's late and I'm no longer being ever-so-slightly profound so I'm gonna quit (don't know if I'm still ahead so I'll quit now just in case I still am).

Night peeps!

Clarkson Knows Day 5

Now I know we've all been here at one point or another and can I just add distracted driving much?  I know texting and driving is bad but I would say having a mental breakdown and driving is much worse, seriously never cry and drive, it's very dangerous.

Something Else from the Deep Dark Pits of My Hotmail Inbox

A) Did not know there was a music video for this song (I am ashamed) 2) I LOVE this music video and cuatro) this didn't come out of the deep dark pits of my hotmail inbox
1. FIRST NAME? Sarah

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?  My middle name is a family name

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Today at lunch, John sang and acted out "Pants on the Ground". . . . it made me cry

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's grown on me over the years

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I much prefer dinner meat, but if I must choose I choose turkey, I don't like ham. . . . unless it's dinner ham and by dinner ham I mean Easter ham

6. KIDS? Waitforit

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS
WITH YOU? Most likely

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yeah, this blog

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? uhh...nope, NEVER.  I mean why would someone use SARCASM?!

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Only if Ryan Gosling does it with me.  Just kidding, if the opportunity arose I would probably take it (but I would need someone to do it with me), I hate regret and missed opportunities offer the biggest opportunities for regret.  I would definitely do it if Ryan Gosling just up an offered to go with me...... ;)

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? GF Cinnamon Chex

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?  Hardly ever

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically--I can sling fifty pound bags of horse feed, but can only do about 3 consecutive push-ups, mentally--more tough/hardened than strong but I do cry at the drop of a hat so all around, no not a strong person

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Aw man I can only pick one!?  In that case chocolatecoffeepeanutbuttercaramelraspberrymintchocolatechipcookiedoughdarkchocolatecharry....almost anything, I'm really not picky

16. SHOE SIZE? depends on the brand, anywhere from a 6.5-8

17. RED OR PINK? Red

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? Procrastination, and my thighs

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  My college friends, and my bird

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? being as this isn't actually an email, no one better send this to me or that's just creepy

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black shorts, no shoes

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? parmesan cheese....I am ashamed

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Sun Will Rise by Kelly Clarkson

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  Denim

25. FAVORITE SMELL? Fresh Ground Coffee, the dusty barn smell of horses and hay

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED to? Allyson

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE
ATTRACTED TO?  Eyes, Smile, after I get to know them sense of humor, sharp wit, chemistry

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BEVERAGE? Water and Coffee (preferably something with espresso just not at night)

30. FAVORITE SPORT? Anything Equestrian (try calling it not a sport, see what happens)

31. COLOR? AS IN FAVORITE? The colors of spring

32. HAT SIZE?  head size

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope

34. A FAVORITE FOOD?  Pizza.....or chinese food.........or thai food

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? A scary movie with a happy ending

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATER? Snow White and the Huntsman!!!!

37. COLOR OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING? it is rather boringly white

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, the only good thing about winter is skiing

39. HUGS or KISSES? Both 

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Just about anything, especially if it is chocolate

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone who reads this

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone who doesn't read this

43. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? "Shatter Me" by Tahereh Mafi

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a unicorn because they're both imaginary

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Dance Moms, it's sorta definitely my guilty pleasure show

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Music, birds, galloping hooves, Ryan Gosling asking me to go bungee jumping

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? definitely the Beatles.  They rock.

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Barcelona, Spain

49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I'm a halfway decent singer, I'm a terrific actress, and a fantastic liar, but my ability to open the doors at Target using nothing but the power of my brain takes the cake

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Narnia, 1982 except neither of those are correct, like I'm going to post that on the internet, please

51. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Technically Kat did about 6 years ago

Clarkson Knows Day 4

Here is a popular one that used to be on the radio all the time and gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME:




And here is one that I've already posted that is just very Clarkson frickin KNOWS!

Clarkson Knows Day 3

For the next 30 minutes You Can't Win is your Clarkson Knows Song of the Day


I have been here, am here, will be here again.

To Make Your Future Elevator Rides More Amusing

When you get off the elevator, whisper to the others who stayed on, "I'd get off the elevator NOW if I were you."

When the other people in the elevator leave, yell "SHARON!"

Hum the "Mission Impossible" theme, speak into your lapel and say "Right, Jim".

When there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Sit with a desk, pencil cup and a telephone in the elevator. When someone walks in, ask if they have an appointment.

Push a button, pretend it gave you a shock. Smile and go back for more.

Ask the others in the elevator which floor they're going to, but push the wrong buttons.

Call the Psychic Hotline and ask them if they know which floor you're on.

Hold the doors open as if you're waiting for a friend, but then let it close. Say to nobody, "Hey, Wally, how's it been?"

Drop a pen, wait for someone to pick it up and then yell, "That's mine!"

Put a cardboard box in the corner; when someone gets on ask them if they can hear ticking.

When the doors close, announce, "Don't worry, they'll open again soon."

Enforce a group hug.

Open your purse slightly and say, "Do you have enough air in there?"

Tell one of the other passengers that you're sorry, but you're going to have to let him go.

Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!"

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Sing along with the Muzak.

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it. quick!" then whistle innocently.

(from funny2.com - check it out for more funny things)

With Feeling

Have we established that I am an incredibly emotional person?  If not, I am an incredibly emotional person; I feel everything.  This is why music is so important to me; I love being able to emulate the emotions the song is intended to evoke.  When I sing, I am feeling the emotions of the song.  This is also why I can act well.  Sometimes I can act so well that I fool myself (and if I was thirty pounds lighter, 4-7 inches taller, and willing to give up chocolate I could be a professional actress but for now I'll settle for stunt rider).  This is a big problem.  I can convince myself that everything is ok, that if I just keep going the direction I'm going all the bad stuff will simply stop existing or at least stop bothering me but this is a terrible lie (which is sad because I'm a pretty darn good liar).  Trying to ignore things just makes me bitter/grouchful/annoyed and for lack of a more succinct phrase, turns me into a bitch.  Not fun for anyone, especially me because I become antisocial, mopy, and guilt-ridden for my bitchiness.  I am currently in this scarybad place.  I'm wallowing over something that I need to do and crying about the past; it's a little ridiculous.  So ridiculous in fact that it's turned me into one of those angsty teens (minus the teen part) that I was ridiculing earlier this year....ugh (shudder). 

Anyway I think the point of this post was something along the lines of I feel everything because I'm very emotional and now I'm feeling really low and stressed which sucks because it's summer and summer is supposed to be fun and it's not been so far....it's been a big ball of suck.  I need to make some changes and feel better.....Clarkson knows.....

Clarkson Knows Day 2

How I Feel

SOTD "Clarkson Knows" Week Day 1

My day 1 "Clarkson Knows" SOTD (that's song of the day, don't know why I never abbreviated that before) is I Forgive You.  "What do you mean Clarkson knows?" you ask.  I mean Kelly Clarkson writes songs that directly apply to my and every other girl out there's life/lives so I'm going to share some of my favorites with you.  Enjoy!

Song of 5 minutes ago

Sorry ya'll I'm currently quite busy with work and other life things so for now all I got are songs, real posts soon to follow.  Also, I'm declaring next week Clarkson week because Clarkson knows...so do Bareilles and Perri but that's not the point :)

Song of the Next 23 hours 16 Minutes

I just realized that my "jam" has never been a song of the day.  Yes it's way overplayed but I can't help but pump my fist in the air every time I here it.

Yesterday's Song of the Day

Nowhere Warm by Kate Havnevik

Going through old emails leads to procrastination

Learning Your ABC'S

[A] - AVAILABLE: no
[B] - BIRTHDAY: 3/14
[C] - CONFUSED ABOUT: what to do

[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: water...ok it was mostly ice
[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: sophie, mcmanda, allyson = my person[s]
[F] - FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP/BAND: Sara Bareilles and Kelly Clarkson (totally not afraid to admit it either, growing up does this to you) they get me....or I get them?
[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Worms eating bears is gross
[H] - HOMETOWN: I've lived the majority of my life in Robins but it's practically Crapids so I really can't choose
[I] - INSTRUMENT: Voice then piano
[J] - JUICE: COFFEE = the juice of life
[K] - KILLED SOMEONE: nope
[L] - LIKE SOMEONE: Yes, lots of people
[M] - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate, shaken not stirred

[N] - NUMBER OF PETS: Currently - 1 and Biebs In my life - 7
[O] - ONE WISH: that eating chocolate would make you look like a Victoria's Secret model

[P] - PERSON WHO YOU TALKED TO LAST ON THE PHONE: McManda
[Q] - QUIET OR LOUD: LOUD!

[R] - REASONS TO SMILE: I get to go ride as soon as the car returns
[S] - SICK: to my stomach but not actually ill
[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8:37AM
[U] - UNDERWEAR: yes
[V] - VIOLENT: very

[W] - WORST HABIT: Procrastination
[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Dentist and multiple abdominal series
[Y] - YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: Horses and birds
[Z]- ZODIAC SIGN: don't care

Current song that I'm listening to at this very exact moment in time:

Song of the (To)Day

I Want the Sky by Lucy Schwartz

Song of the (Yester)Day

Turning Tables by Adele Adkins

Song of 6/12/12

Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson
I'm still Miss Independent, no goodbye old you just yet.

Another Survey! (this one is much better than the last one)

FAVORITE
 Movie at the moment?
I like that it's "at the moment" because my favorites change like the seasons, at this moment I am
 LOVING  Snow White and the Huntsman but my favorite movie of all time is and probably will forever be The Mummy
because once wasn't enough:


Jelly Belly jelly bean?
Watermelon, I know, sooo original

Drink?
Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred

Name for a girl?
Katherine, it's a family name

Compliment to receive?
One time someone told me that I sang like Rachel Berry, not gonna lie, that was a shining moment in my life

Thing to say?
I say the words "awesome" and "cool beans" way more than anyone should, but I'm trying to bring back the phrase "jump back!" because it makes me chuckle

Talk show host?
Either Jimmy Kimmel or Kelly Rippa (I'm an old lady ok, I like Regis and Kelly except now it's just Kelly)

Weapon?
Bow and arrow, it's very elegant

Last Thing
 that was told to you?
My sister woke up at various hours this morning

Thing you ate?
Cookie dough, next time we are leaving out the peanut butter

Person that pissed you off?
Can't think of a specific person (it probably involved idiots on the road) but what's pissing me off right now is my leg, it's spasming and when it does a) it hurts and b) it looks like it has a freakin heartbeat it's sooooo gross! 

Person that you pissed off?
I'm gonna have to say my stomach because whenever I try to eat food it's like "dude no!" and then I feel and/or get sick

Song you listened to?
Last song: Gonna Get Over You by Sara Bareilles
Current song: Holding a Heart by A Girl Named Toby 

Book you read?
New Book: Embrace by Jessica Shirvington
Actual last book (that I re-read): City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

Thing you were confused about?
LIFE! what I'm supposed to do with mine, how it affects other people, why my leg keeps TWITCHING!!!! it's so GROSS!! 

TV show you watched?
Heartland it's a Canadian show about horses

Thing that made you feel like crap?
MY LEG!!!!! and my stomach (in a rather literal sense ha ha ha)
Emotionally: not knowing what to do about how I feel about certain things in my life and the Victoria's Secret giant poster thing at the mall which is placed ironically next to Betty Jane Candy Store (I still went in but I bet it's hurting their business)

Have You Ever
 Tried to kill someone?
Only with my mind, turns out you can't explode people with your mind

Lied to a priest?
I can't recall the last time I talked to a priest, but I don't think I've ever intentionally lied to my pastor

Ridden a horse?
Dumbest question on this survey? found it!

Burst a blood vessel?
Yes, in my eye, it was gross

Forgotten what month it was?
I actually thought it was still May

Smoked?
Nope and never will

Made up your own constellations?
Yes, mine was called Triangle, it was a triangle

Would you ever
Be a lawyer?
Possibly but only a mediator not a court lawyer

Kill yourself?
I don't think so

Eat sushi?
I ate some sushi and I liked it! (to the tune of a used-to-be-overplayed Katy Perry song)

Move to another country?
Yes, I like adventure, kinda wanna live in Venezuela for a year

Drive an orange car?
Well it would be easy to spot in a crowded parking lot

Love Love Love

This movie (Center Stage Turn it Up!), this song (24 by Jem), this dance (final dance of The Glass Slipper which I wish was a real thing)!

Dancing With Horses

One of the coolest things ever!

Song of the Day

Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson

Song of the Day

City by Sara Bareilles

Uncharted

I am in a place right now that I can't even begin to understand and I know I've already talked about this song but seriously, SERIOUSLY, it's me:

No words, My tears won't make any room for more,
And it don't hurt like anything I've ever felt before,
this is no broken heart,
No familiar scars,
This territory goes uncharted...

Just me, in a room sunk down in a house in a town, and I
Don't breathe, no I never meant to let it get away from me
Now, I've too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold,
And I want uncharted.
Stuck under the ceiling I made, I can't help but feeling...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

La la la-a-a-a.
Oh-h-h.

Each day, countin' up the minutes, till I get alone, 'cause I can't stay
In the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault, but I'm
So low, never knew how much I didn't know,
Oh, everything is uncharted.
I know I'm getting nowhere, when I only sit and stare like...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted.

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart,
Love to watch the colors fade,
They may not make sense,
But they sure as hell made me.

I won't go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down,
I'm taking flame over burning out

Compare where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started.
Oh-h
I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

Songs of the day!

Just(a reminder to go have)fun:



Love Florence and the Machine and LOVED this movie! (I will happily go see it again):

Remember that time I did a survey that I found on Facebook?

This one is way longer and not quite as good.
A - Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? no

02. Do you have a lot of scars? not a lot, but the ones I do have are visible to the naked eye

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? I punched a kid in the stomach in Kindergarten

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Not really

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? Yep, above my left eye and under my chin

B - Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? I honestly couldn't tell you, skin deep, no, on the inside, I try my best

07. Are you self conscious of how you look? ABSOLUTELY

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? Not on a regular basis, I'm lazy like that, one day I went to work with no make-up on at all and realized it and hour before my shift ended, not gonna lie, I was kinda embarrassed

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Only if I was in a horrific accident that left me mangled

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? Their love

C - Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I don't remember, it's been too long

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Keep it because that is my faith, maybe pull a Juno and find a family in need of adoption, I'm no longer a teen though so a career with MTV is definitely out

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? Only all the time

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Punishing my family for something I did

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? Got on flight Oceanic 815, what a waste of time!

D - Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Depends on the situation but I'm not gonna lie, there is a land called PassivAgressiva and I am their Queen

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. That one time when I stopped a freight train using only a ball of twine, an eggbasket, some chewing gum, and my wit

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? No and no

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? I sick Betty White on them

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Yes many people, it takes forever but eventually accepting that death isn't sad for the person who died, only for those he/she left behind

E - Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? Many...of both

22. Wonder where that question went. . . . .oh well

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I live a very blessed life, but there have been rough patches with my health and the health of my family members

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Yes, but I do need a better, more stable job

25. How old do you act? Depends on the situation and my mood, currently I'm acting like a crotchety middle-aged person or a 5 year old who's not having things go her way, I blame hormones

F - Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? Distant relatives because they are distant relatives

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? family, I have friends who are for all intents and purposes my family

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? Most anything, yes, except my international jewel thief business, that's private

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? Yes they're both gonna be taller than me

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? Very often

G - Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? 5'2" I wish I was 5'6" because then the nickname "hobbit" would no longer be an option

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? Yes, I made some very adult decisions last year and let me tell you I hate being a grown-up

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? If I were childish would I be able to pull of international jewel heists?

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? I'm afraid of losing control of my body, but I look forward to growing old and being able to completely let myself go (starting at age 70) and we are talking pie for breakfastlunchanddinner

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I will never be able to learn enough

H - Hope

36. Love - real or not? Real for "Life is too cruel. If we cease to believe in love, why would you want to live?"

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? I'm a "there's water in the glass" type person

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? I believe in God and that He has a plan for me but I have free will so nothing is certain

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? Faith

I - Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? At times

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? I'm gluten intolerant, along with being intolerant to most every other food

43. It's almost like some of these questions are disappearing on purpose

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? Never alone, there's a song about it

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? Morbid much?

J - Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) psspffftchhfffsshhhtchpfff

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? If you get my humor, but I feed off of other people (sense of humor-wise, not a vampire)

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Oh yeah which reminds me oh YEAH! oh NO! yeah! No! yeah? no. you're going down topheavy!

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Sophie being Bella at the end of New Moon "Noo!! NOO!!! Not him!!! Kill me!!! Kill MEE!!!! BAHAHAHA we're so dumb

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? no, I don't get caught

K - Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? The purpose of college is to learn or you wouldn't be paying thousands of dollars to go there...doesn't mean you can't have fun

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Smart

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A+ (highschool), A (college)

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? A's with an overall GPA of 3.96

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? Spanish

L - Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? Never been in love, my life is a tragedy

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? Mostly yes

58. Is love worth it? Always

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? It annoys me, but I don't know their lives so I can't judge

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? I love all my friends/family, but having never been in love I'm gonna have to be absolutely sure before I say anything

M - Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? Yes and no, yes because that's society's belief, no because I don't believe money is that important where happiness is concerned (which I realize doesn't really have anything to do with this question unless you're in my head)

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? I am poor (D+), my family is about a B

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? Already there

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Perfect person (love, not money)

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 5 (need it to live but it's not my priority)

N - Not Important

O - Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? A very, VERY long time

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? Years, I have major trust issues

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? Yes, due to multiple past experiences I no longer trust people (other than my family)

74. is a stupid number

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? well that's personal isn't it

P - Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? good times

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? how is this positive?  this survey isn't as fun as the last one :p

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? Sarcastic

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? Yes, except for periods, nothing good comes from them

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: Good Galifinakis! This is like homework or a background check. This one time, at band camp I was at band camp and that sucked so then I quit

Q - Questions?

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Help is what helpful people are for, if I didn't ask them they would be out of a job and then I wouldn't get a second term as president

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? I don't ask questions about such things, if I thought to hard about it my brain would implode.

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  Damon :) or Stefan :( ?

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? Mostly I just shake my fist and call them names, people need to learn how to drive!

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? Why didn't the solar eclipse give me superpowers?

R - Respect

86. How do you show respect? By being respectful

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Say that horse-back-riding isn't a sport (you don't even KNOW!)

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? 100 years of servitude aboard the Flying Dutchman

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? Kill them with kindness while humming Sweet As Whole quietly to myself

S - School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? College JUNIOR!!

92. When will you graduate high school/college? 2014 (if the world makes it that far)

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? Mostly I'm just confused all the time

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? Hated high school, too many birches, love college, it's about figuring yourself out

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? Yes actually, now I'm an international jewel thief

T - Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Yes, jewel thievery

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? Yes, jewel thievery

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? Only in cards and there was no money involved, I did it because it was funny and I was 14

99. Hey I just met you! And this is crazy! But now you have a catchy tune stuck in your head

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? Strong willed, fight the power!

U - Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? No, I have no friends, my life as a jewel thief doesn't allow time for such distractions

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? Yes, I have some very unique jewelry but shh don't tell the feds

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? see question 101

105. What makes you different from people your age? My height

V - Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? Some international jewels

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? Loved ones and absolutely

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? Family

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? Shoes to wear so I could get out of the house without burning my feet

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? How could I possibly know the answer to that?

W - Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? World peace, no zombies, ninja skills

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Loved ones

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? only if you make them happen yourself

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Yes I wished that one day I would have a horse then bam 10 years later I actually got one

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? No, I find them a delightful thing to do once a day if I manage to look at the clock at that time

Y - You

121. Are you more independent or social? Independent

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Judgment

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? I think everyone does (pretty sure I ranted about that one day)

124. What kind of person would you be if you didn’t have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.? Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? An international jewel thief, and my dev psych class taught me that it's nature and nurture not just one of the other

125. Do you think people are generally good? I think so

Z - Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? With the things that truly matter yes,  just cuz.

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? Una mezcla

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? Yes and no, I don't mind meeting new people but it's not my greatest joy in life

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? the threat of losing your ears

Remember me? I write stuff. This stuff's about me.

I've been out of town and lazy lately so I have failed to write anything over the last couple weeks but I'm back now so you may or may not hear/see/read more thoughts from my head.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (30 hours in the car gives you time to do that), been thinking about who I am, what I want in life, what I'm supposed to do with my life, how to do that, and why? I've been struggling a lot with what I'm supposed to do with my life and I think I can't move forward with my life until I embrace who I am.

Let's face it, life can suck.  It's not easy, people get hurt.  I've been hurt many times and occasionally I've done the hurting.  Because of my life experiences and being hurt by those who have been important to me I've stopped letting people into my life.  I've put up walls that keep people from getting too close; I've made it so that anyone new in my life could do something to hurt me and I could easily walk away from that relationship.

I had a very long, very deep conversation with my sister last night about these walls and she asked me if I wanted to let people in again.  At first I said yes (who doesn't like making new friends), but after really thinking about it for a while I realized that where I am in my life right now, I don't want to let people in.  I'm tired of being burned, I'm tired of being a doormat, I'm tired of trying so hard only to be set aside.  I need some me-time, some independence.  All of my dreams for the future include me being on my own for a while (tiny house big yard giant dog, nyc appartment above a bar/coffeeshop/bistro with friends, adventure abroad, etc.)

To use a saying from Grey's Anatomy I am scary and damaged.  I don't trust people easily and I react poorly to situations that make me uncomfortable.  I have a fear of commitment.  I run.  I never feel good enough.  I am flawed.  I lack confidence.  I'm scared to dream and apt to settle.  I hold grudges.  I am overly observant.  I am impatient.  I'm sarcastic.  I have a scary dark place that I retreat to sometimes.  I despise know-it-alls.  I like time to myself.  I'm don't like clingy people.  I don't worry about you doing your thing so I don't like it when you worry about me doing my thing.  I'm a control freak, not in the creepy trying to control others around me kind of way, but in the way where I HATE being controlled by others.  I like being in control of my life, and I REALLY don't appreciate other people telling me what I can't do or telling me what I should do (without my asking).  I don't like being tied down, I like freedom and independence.  Part of this is where I am in life, wanting to grow up and be self-sufficient, but part of it is just how I am and that's not going to change.

Anyone else amused by how each paragraph is longer than the last one?  Yeah didn't do that on purpose.  My scarydamagedthings kinda sound like a Kelly Clarkson song.  Yeah kinda did that on purpose, what can I say, music influences me.  Everybody's got a dark side!  Do you love me?  Can you love mine?  I digress.

I'm complicated and I have issues, so does everybody else in the universe, at least I'm dealing with mine.

While I'm word vomiting all over this post let's just throw it out there that I am a sucker for "lost-causes."  The people I love the most are the people society has written off because I think these are the people who need it the most.  On that note one of my biggest pet peeves is/are judgy people.  Have you made a mistake in your life?  If you answered no then you are either a liar or Jesus.  If you answered yes then where the hell do you get off judging other people for their mistakes?  The church has major issues with this.  I am Lutheran, I believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, he died so that I (and everybody else) wouldn't be judged for my (our) sins.  This means that people who sin the most need Jesus' love and message the most so shouldn't we as members of the church being trying the hardest to reach them and make them feel welcome?  I'll give you a hint, the answer starts with a y and rhymes with mess.  What happens most often to these people?  The church (not all of it, but this is the stereotype) ostracizes them, makes them feel guilty, tells them they better repent or burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.  Isn't that true of all of us? (y and mess)  Do we approach everyone like that?  No!  No, we welcome normal, wholesome families into our church, they're good influences on our children and won't play their music too loud, but guess what, they sin just as much.  God says that all sins are equal, calling someone an idiot while driving is just as bad as having pre-marital sex in His eyes.  We all sin.  We all fall short of the glory of God.  We are all brothers and sisters in Christ and we should love each other as such.  Summary: don't write anyone or anything off.  End of rant.

Enough with my negative attributes, I do have good qualities.  I am fiercely loyal and will fight to protect my friends.  I tend to put others first.  When I love I do it whole-heartedly.  I am interested in other people, I will listen to what you have to say.  I will do my best to help you solve your problems whatever they may be.  I'm funny.  I love having fun.  I try to make the best of situations.  Being observant, I like to know people so I can be there for them.  I don't give up.  I don't write people off.  I work hard at everything.  I'm not clingy.  I'm not jealous.  If you're hurting I will do my best to fix your pain or at least beat up the thing that hurt you.  I'm open-minded.  I love music.  I try to see the beauty in things first.  I love my God, I love my family, and I love my friends.  

Ok, I'm tired of writing now.

SONG OF THE DAY!!

Song of the Last Few Weeks

The last couple weeks have been an incredibly stressful journey during which I literally traveled many (over 1500) miles.  It is for this reason that I have chosen one of my favorite songs:

Many the Miles by Sara Bareilles