Things I Will Not Be Doing On Friday

This Friday is Valentine's Day AKA Singles Awareness Day, the day when all the single people are made painfully aware just how single they really are.  That is not a proper sentence, but I don't care.  Usually I don't give a fart one way or another about SAD, this year is slightly different.  Instead of feeling nothing or slight amusement, I feel bitter.  With every year, I'm getting older, my situation is getting sadder, and my friends are getting married.  I'm beginning to wonder if there's something inherently wrong with me.

Then I realize there is something wrong with me, I'm shy, awkward, and I like sweatpants & staying home.  Netflix and I are close friends, and going to bed early is usually one of my favorites.  I need to get out more, meet new people, make friends, and enjoy life.  Being a hermit is not conducive to finding a man.

While I still will probably not enjoy all the ooey gooey couples on SAD, I'm not going to hold their "in-love-ness" against them, and I'm not going to feel sorry for myself.  Here is a list of things I won't be doing on Friday:

1. Going to a chick-flick
2. Eating Ben & Jerry's
3. Drinking copious amounts of cheap wine
4. Lying around in my sweatpants
5. Going on a romantic date
6. Binge-watching Netflix
7. Bashing on happy people
8. Going on a shopping spree
9. Cleaning
10. Sun-bathing

I may however yell "NO ONE ASKED YOU PATRICE!!!" at you if you tell me any of the following things (compliments of Buzzfeed):

1. “How are you still single? You are so great!”
2. “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”
3. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” 
4. “Are you seeing anyone?”
5. “You should try online dating. My friend met their husband/wife that way.”
6. “They don’t deserve you.”
7. “You are such a catch.”
8. “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone someday.”
9. “One day when you’re married, you’ll wish you were single.”
10. “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
11. “You’re just too picky."
12. “Just don’t turn into some crazy cat lady.”  I will punch you in the face, twice.
13. At a wedding: “You better get out there, they are doing the bouquet toss.”
14. “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.”
15. “I can’t wait to meet your future husband, he is going to be amazing.”
16. “We’ll all be laughing about this someday.”
17. “Don’t give up, it’ll happen.”
18. “You don’t need anyone.”
19. "You just need to put yourself out there.
20. "It'll happen when the time is right."