I have been so conflicted lately about my future and my dreams. Often I feel that my dreams are unachievable, but recently I saw this quote (and by recently I mean this morning): "If your dreams don't scare you... they're not big enough." Then I thought to myself, who the hell says I'm not good enough for what I want to do? So far it's only been me, no one else has told me no. So why shouldn't I pursue acting (after I get my BA of course)? Why not at least try? I've been so down on myself about this dream, it's about time I try a positive outlook.
I am a person who hates living with any sort of regret; if I don't at least try to pursue my dream (a dream I've had since I was a child) imagine what a bitter old woman I'm going to be in the future, I'm gonna be a nightmare!
Of course I realize that this road I want to take is not an easy one, it will be an incredible challenge, I realize that; I know that I'm about to enter a shark tank of extreme competitiveness, guess what, I'm extremely competitive. I also realize that Hollywood is a land of many temptations, and I am a Christian woman. My faith is extremely important to me and I would never want to jeopardize it. This being said, God made me this way. He gave me my love of film, my sharp wit, my determination, my intelligence, my dreams/goals/aspirations, and my talent. I recently talked to a very wonderful, wise, and God-fearing woman - my God-mother - about my dirty little crackpot dream. To my surprise, she supported me completely. She encouraged me to go out and whole-heartedly give it a try. When I mentioned moving to LA after I graduate she told me to do it; go there and pray about it, if it's meant to happen God will open doors, if not, He'll open some different ones, I just need to pay attention. I felt incredibly encouraged after our chat. On top of that, yesterday, a friend showed me a blog written by a small-town girl who moved to Hollywood to pursue acting. She too, is a Christian with similar values and goals to myself (oh my goodness, I feel grammar Nazis everywhere cringing as they read this post - I apologize, I just don't care enough to fix it). She is succeeding in her endeavors, God is opening many doors for her.
I feel that these two encouraging happenings/discoveries are (perhaps) God opening the door just a crack on my dreams becoming a reality. Thus discouragement has met encouragement and I feel just a smidge better about my oh-so-unsure future (now I just need to break the news to my parents who may disown me).
Here's an entertaining interview with Jennifer Lawrence about how she became an actress- therefore it is pertinent to this post:
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