Song of the Week

I literally cannot get this song out of my head.

Drive, Motivation, Purpose

It's mood swinging time (TMI? IDC), they go: manic/happy, bitchplease, anger, depression, lack of emotion, back to normal (I hope).  I am currently in between depression and lack of emotion.  I simply don't care about anything right now; I feel lost.  I am a wanderer: no drive, no motivation, and no purpose.  (Sheez this is depressing, sorry if you were expecting my usual wit and sarcasm but today this blog is more journal than entertainment.)

I think part (and by part I mean mostly all) of my problem is the fact that I have no plan for after school, no dream job waiting for me to go get it.  I have nothing motivating me to get through school other than the fact that I'm tired of school and want to be done with it.  I feel like a failure all the time.  I feel like my reason for leaving the nursing program (it wasn't for me/I didn't like it) is just an excuse for not working hard enough (my grades were good I just didn't want to do all of the work and didn't like my nursing home clinical).  I'm a quitter and a failure and now I have no plan for the future.  I'm somehow less than all my friends who are still in the nursing program, I'm an outsider.  I feel alone in this battle, I know I'm not, I know I have God on my side but sometimes you need a tangible person to be there for you.  I don't feel like I can talk to my friends about this because I'm smart and I get good grades and they think I'll be fine and quite honestly don't want to hear me complain about school. 

I'm so tired of people being surprised about my change in major and asking me what my plans are after school.  Every time someone asks I have to admit to them (and remind myself) that I have no frickin idea what I'm doing after school.  Then they're all "are you going to be a cop?  do you want to go to law school?"  No, I don't want to be a cop (I'm soooo not tough enough/that's something you really have to want/there are no jobs right now), no I don't think I want to be a lawyer, I don't know what I want to do.  I DON'T KNOW! and it's killing me.  So stop asking, please.

Help Me

(Warning- I'm having major difficulty organizing my thoughts today so bear with me.)
There is all sorts of wrong going on in this world and there are all sorts of people who need all sorts of help.  Some get written off, others get celebrity aid, government aid, organizations made, marches organized, and still some get made fun of or joked about or just completely ignored because they're uncomfortable to discuss.  The other day I was on the twitter machine and and saw a twitter tweet that read: "I'm ugly" sorry you spelled attention-seeking-whore wrong.  It was a "condescending Wonka" tweet so I realize that it's meant to be taken as a joke, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.  While girls do say/post things like this just to get attention and affirmation of their outer beauty, others do it as a cry for help.

As we all know, asking for help is not an easy thing to do.  It requires you to admit you have a problem, acknowledge that you are incapable of handling it on your own, and give up some control to another person.  NONE of this is easy to do, nor is knowing how to ask for help.  It's hard to ask someone, or tell someone how you're feeling when you're afraid of rejection.  It's also hard to ask for help when you think the answer is going to be condescending, judgmental or belittling of your problems.  We, as those who want to help people, need to keep these things in mind.

A lot of girls struggle with Body Image Issues, here are some interesting facts for your brains to absorb:

1. Twenty years ago, models weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, they weigh 23% less than the average woman.
2. The average American woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’11” tall and weighs 117 pounds.
3. If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
4. About 7% of 12th grade males have used steroids in order to become more muscular.
5. If GI Joe were human, he’d have larger biceps than any bodybuilder in history.
6. One out of every four college aged women has an eating disorder.
7. It is estimated that 40 to 50% of American women are trying to lose weight at any point in time.
8. Americans spend more than 40 billion dollars a year on dieting and diet-related products – that’s roughly equivalent to the amount the U.S. Federal Government spends on education each year!
9. Almost half of all women smokers smoke because they see it as the best way to control their weight. Of these women, 25% will die of a disease caused by smoking.
10. In 2007, there were about 11.7 million cosmetic procedures performed in the U.S. Ninety one percent of these were performed on women.
11. A study found that 53% of thirteen-year-old American girls are unhappy with their bodies. This number grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen.
12. According to the Girl Scouts Research Institute, one-third of all girls have a distorted idea about their weight.
13. In your lifetime 50,000 people will die as a direct result of their Eating Disorder
14. The current media ideal of thinness is achieved by less than 5% of the female population
15. One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
16. Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
17. A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that: 
1. 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease 
2. 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years 
3. only 30 – 40% ever fully recover  
18. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness 
19. The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old.
20. 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems 
21. Anorexia Side Effects:
• Weakness and fatigue
• Heart problems
• Paralysis
• Osteoporosis
• Anemia
• Kidney Failure
• Loss of Menstrual Cycle (This can lead to infertility.)
• Hair Loss
• Lanugo

Sources:
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-body-image
http://weighingthefacts.blogspot.com/2010/02/body-image-statistics.html#ixzz278FjbdbD
http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/statistics.htm
http://www.eatingdisordertreatment.com/featured-articles/side-effects-of-anorexia-can-be-life-threatening

To put it shortly, not getting help for such problems can be life-threatening.  These problems are serious and should not be taken lightly by ANYONE.  You don't have the right to belittle someone's problems, you don't know what they're feeling so lay off your snide comments and try offering to listen to them instead.  Comments such as "I'm ugly" or "I'm fat" could be someone's way of asking for help or letting you know that they have a problem so instead of calling them an attention-seeking-whore or brushing the comment aside with a "you are not!" how about we try asking why they feel that way, asking how you can help, or simply letting them know you're there for them.

You have the opportunity every day to change someone's life, try changing it for the better.  Don't do it so you feel good, do it to rescue someone from their misery.