Song of the Day

Flash mob material...possimpibly....


You won't be so-ree ;) that's what it's all a-boat

Today's Song is...

"The Story" by Brandi Carlile


I just got back from seeing "The Lucky One" with a friend (and it was AMAZING so go see it!) and this song was in the credits, but I did hear it before I saw the movie.  The movie just reminded me that I loved it therefore it is today's song :)

Day, Song of

Get up and DANCE!

Song of the Day

Awesome Things I Said Today:

There have been a lot of serious posts lately, this one isn't, enjoy:

"sseroiunse"

"Caaaaaarrrlll"

"Much more later"

"Status flows concisely in well-formulated subtlety conveying the point in a positive and AWESOME manner......folks"

Me: "Do di do di do di (intro to "Call Me Maybe"), no you have to do the head-bob with it"
Sophie: "Yeah with the wide scary eyes."

"Why is so long?"

Sophie: "Cuz he's got the swoopy hair when it's straight, you know I like that."

"I think she was gonna eat it and got distracted" - lonesome grapefruit left sitting on the table

"How do you pronounce their name because I've been saying it with a Scottish accent: goht-yeh."

Sophie: "We should sing Call Me Maybe next year"
Me: "No Tony would hate that...............................WE HAVE TO DO IT!!!"

Ok so they're not that awesome, but they were funny if you were here.

Song of the Day

"Impossible" by Kelly Clarkson
Because:
Fits my mood this week
I LOVE this song
It's awesome for running

Fear Itself

Imagine not being afraid of anything.  I know what you're thinking, you'd probably do some really stupid things and wind up murdered in a back alley and there's probably some truth there.  Actually legit. . . .imate fear is there for a reason, to let you know when something is awry.  There are things you do need to be afraid of, rapists and serial killers to name a couple.  At the same time you shouldn't live in fear of these things, just if you get that tingly sensation on the back of your neck when you're walking down a dark alley, alone, late at night (then you can be scared).

My point (which I am doing an excellent {<=sarcasm} job of making) is that there are fears to be headed and then there are insecurities/irrational fears which we so often let control our lives.  These little fears and insecurities often get in the way of our "just living" which I discussed yesterday allowing them to mess up every aspect of our lives, observe:

Relationships:
I don't know about boys but I as a girl am insecure all the time (I'm working on it) about everything.  I look to others for reassurance which get's annoying and can ruin relationships with co-workers friends, family, and significant others.  Instead of being insecure about how I look I should (at least pretend to) exude a b.a. confidence that says "I know how I look and I'm good with it, if you're not I don't give a flying seagull because you don't determine my self-worth, I do."  Even if I just pretend at first, eventually I might find that I actually believe it (I am an excellent liar after all).

I also live in fear of disappointing others.  I don't want to be disliked by anyone (this is a girl thing, we are more socially controlled as children which causes us to develop a deeper bond to society. . .wanna know more? take a sociology or criminology class. . . hey! I did learn something in school!  Glad to know that money's not going to waste).  Anyway this often leads me to suppress my feelings and lie to others to prevent them from getting hurt.  This only leads to depression, an eventual emotional explosion, severely hurting myself, and eventually hurting that person more.  Honesty truly is the best policy (there may be exceptions to this rule - don't EVER tell a woman she looks fat).  Girls I know we don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain but other people don't want to cause yours so tell them how you feel, respect their opinion, and act accordingly (if they can't handle it, they're not worth it).     

Jobs:
If you are constantly scared of screwing up you're not going to have any self-confidence.  If you don't have any self-confidence/constantly second guess yourself you're probably going to screw up.  This, children, is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you find yourself afraid of failure simply realize that failure is a possibility and if you get fired there's something better in store for you.  But to avoid failure in the first place remind yourself that you were hired for a reason, because your company/employer has faith in you, they hired you because they think you're awesome, maybe you should think so too.  If you simply stop being acting and start acting awesome the self-fulfilling prophecy states that eventually you will be awesome instead.

Life in General:
When making life-decisions I ask myself not "Will I regret doing this?" but "Will I regret it if I don't do this?"  Life's too short to regret stuff, make your decisions so you won't.  Simple right :? (sarcasm face).

Florence and the Machine's Thoughts:
"Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments" 
so 
"Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh whoa"

Sara Bareilles' Thoughts:
"I hold on to worry so tight It's safe in here right next to my heart Who now shouts at the top of her voice Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice!"
so
"I want to darken in the skies Open the floodgates up I want to change my mind I want to be enough I want the water in my eyes I want to cry until the end of time...Let the rain come down Make a brand new ground"

In summary we too often live in fear of life itself, we don't want to hurt anyone, we don't want to screw up, we don't want to look bad, etc.  Truth is, these things are inevitable parts of life, we can't really live without doing them.  I just thought something profound but I forgot it. . . . . . . . . . . . yep it's gone, that's what I get for writing late at night.


If we start attempting to live life without these fears we might discover that they happen a little less, my challenge to you (and me) this weak is to a) do something that frightens you (not scares you, frightens you as in terrifies you, confront that sucker and show it it doesn't own you = own it!) or b) assume the confidence, if you're not naturally confident then pretend you are see if your week improves.

Non-optional "challenge" for you for life: Give yourself some credit, every once in a while make yourself a priority.  If someone hurts you don't just take it and hold onto it tell them about it, if they're awesome they'll understand and apologize, if not better to know now.  If you need a break, take a break.  If you need some support call on those you support (aka your friends) they want to be there for you too. 

Good night you awesome-and-totally-worth-it-person(s)!  May your todays be just as good as your tomorrows! :)

P.S. Song relating to my post? of course:

Song of the Day

The secret word is:

Can't Go Back by Rosi Golan

Just Live

I recently realized I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  I no longer have a plan for a future career (there is no one job that I know I will have).  I don't know where I want to live (well that's not entirely true).  I don't know who I'll be with.  Most importantly I don't know how to find the answers to these questions, but my best guess is:

Just Live

and how scary of an answer is that?
I don't know how to do that I'm a freaking girl, I have to analyze, re-analyze, and over-analyze everything about my life.  I'm also a Christian so I believe God has a plan for me, HE has all of these answers and if I would just calm down for a second and trust Him, He would lead me on my path and eventually show them to me.  My sister also has a blog and she did a much more eloquent job spelling this out than I ever could so please click here and read for yourself.

Long story short, I need to worry a little less and trust a little(lot) more.

Worrying can take up so much time in our lives.  We spend so much time stressed out about school/work/relationships/etc. and if we would put all that energy into something else imagine what we could accomplish....probably just about anything that we wanted to.  We all have dreams, some are crack-pot dreams (i.e. I want to be a princess when I grow up.......ok maybe not for Kate Middleton but ya know), but others could be achieved if you really REALLY tried (with a little[lot] of help from God). 

At the moment I have no real life-plans/goals so I'm going to list the ones that could turn out to be real (or just be side-effects of watching too much TV):

1.  Live in NYC in an apartment above a bar/coffee-shop/bistro that I may or may not own with my friends.  Seriously.
2.  Go on a crazy adventure in a foreign country.
3.  Teach yoga
4.  Be a teacher (in a school) - teach Spanish?
5.  Have lots of horses/dogs/birds/pets (this one is non-negotiable)
6.  Live in the country (after NYC or if it doesn't pan out, I'm easy)
7.  Go on The Voice.............win?
8.  Start Horse-therapy program
9.  Use horses to "rehab" criminals, at-risk kids, victims
10. NOT be a lawyer
11. Be a lawyer
12. Be a doctor
13. Be a spy
14. Be an actress
15. Find love......(in a hopeless place)
16. Find bread.....(in a toastless place) what up!
17. Slap a drink out of someone's hand (ok not really a life goal, but it would be pretty darn AWESOME)
18. Be on Dancing with the Stars
19. Be a mom
20. Change someone's life <= Real Life Goal! 

That's my schpeel for the day, more schpeels tomorrow.  Good night beautiful world!

Watch this, it's funny.............................................I should not be awake when I'm this unconcious  

Also funny/AWESOME:

If you're wondering why it's funny, you either didn't click the link, the link didn't work, or you don't watch How I Met Your Mother, or a combination of all 3, or none of the above.

Yay for imperfect grammar!

time fo sleep

"fo" was supposed to be "to" but it worked so I left it

tee hee

stupid.

bed. now.

bye

Song of the Day

I know this hasn't been a thing before, but I'm going to make it a thing:

Today's Song of the Day is:
Sad Song by Christina Perri (who somehow may seems to have managed to read my diary...if I had a diary)

The Biggest Losers (this is not a typo)

Let me premise this with the disclaimer that anything written today is going to be of the rant variety.  You have been warned:

It's no secret that I am an avid watcher and fan of the show "The Biggest Loser."  I find it to be an incredibly inspiring show, it's one reality TV show that isn't motivated by the desire to make money, but instead by the desire to change people's lives which is amazing.  My one goal in life is to make a positive difference in someone else's life; I want my life to matter in someone else's so the show is a huge inspiration for me (plus I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle like the people on the show).  Anyway the show has always been very motivating to me in my own weight-loss/exercise journey (if they can lose one-hundred pounds I can certainly lose 10) until this season.

In previous seasons the show has been all about paying it forward, motivating others, losing weight, and changing your life.  This season has been all about playing the game, stabbing backs, acting entitled, and DRAMA.  To me it seems like the contestants are focused more on winning the game for the money than they are on losing weight and helping others to do the same.

If you haven't been watching here is a short recap:
Every contestant on the show this season was a member of a couple (couples of friends and family members....maybe all families....and one team of strangers).  In the very first episode each couple competed for a chance to be on the show.  One couple (aqua team) lost the challenge and was sent home with the opportunity to return if they lost a certain amount of weight in 30 days.  When this couple left all of the rest of the couples offered their condolences and told them how "unfair" it was that they were being sent home.  The rest of the couples were unaware that this couple was offered the chance to come back.  After this couple left the remaining couples were split up: one member of each couple trained with Bob on the Black team while the other member trained with Dolvett on the Red team.  Plenty of drama ensued during the 30 days the aqua team was at home and a couple instigators of said drama revealed themselves (Conda and Jeremy to name a couple).  None of that drama compared to what happened when the aqua team returned.  Not one member of any team at the ranch welcomed the aqua team back.  Instead of being excited that the couple they all said was unfairly sent home before the game even started was being offered the chance of a lifetime to work with world class trainers to lose weight and change their lives, they were pissed that their chances of winning the game (and $250,000) were being slightly lessened.  They thought it was unfair to them that this other couple got to come into the game at all.  It was RIDICULOUS!  I have never been so angry with, disappointed in, or disgusted by people I don't know in my entire life!  The Red team completely ostracized their new member and made fun of him behind his back.  He was sent home in two weeks after a HUGE amount of drama ensued.  His sister followed him the week after that with another drama EXPLOSION (boom)!  It was ridiculous to say the least.  Since then there has been plenty of drama (what's another word for drama?) has gone down but nothing, NOTHING compared to what is in store for us this week when every contestant who has been eliminated is given the chance to compete in a challenge and get back in the game....

Click here and scroll down to watch the video

My comment on this:
This isn't even a twist, it happens every season and it was spelled out plainly in their contracts. All of the contestants this year (save for Daphne and Adrian) have acted like arrogant, entitled, pompous, little hypocrites. I have been disappointed by each and every one of their behavior and attitudes. They all seem like they deserve this more than the other contestants and they don't, they are equals, they all started in the same way, it's ridiculous. This season has lost the focus of paying it forward, inspiration, and weight loss; it has become all about the game, the money, and the "glory." I miss season 11 where the teams were so close with one another and so incredibly inspiring and I do miss having Jillian on the show (twould have been nice to watch her kick Conda's ass) but I am happy for her and her daughter [who she is adopting]. This is the worst season of the Biggest Loser to date.

All things considered:
I certainly hope those who violate their contracts are permanently expelled from the game and not allowed to compete for either of the monetary prizes.  I also hope that this season's horridness does not lead to the end of the show, I hope the show returns for another season with contestants who don't act like children.

The title/catchphrase/whatever for this season was "No Excuses" but they all seem to keep saying "it's not fair" (that's an excuse children).  Get over yourselves!  

So that's the end of my Biggest Loser rant.  .  .  . for now .  .  .  .

I just fell in love....

...with this song!!!  I must own it!!!!  aaaannnnnddd I just bought it off Amazon.



Why do I love it so much you ask silently in your brain?  Excellent question, it's not particularly deep or original and it's kind of repetitive but it's FUN!  The music video just rained down some truth on my sad little life.  When I get all sad and melancholy like this I miss out on fun.  Yes something super sad just happened and then there's that other stuff that I'm letting drag me down and I shouldn't, I just shouldn't. I am young, I should be out doing stupid stuff (not stuff that's gonna get me into trouble for those of you who were concerned) and acting like and idiot with my friends.  I should be living, and I'm not, I'm pining.  I need to stop that, just shake it out!  I should be road trippin' and makin' memories, my whole blog is supposed to be about life not being measured by the years in your life but "by the life in your years." 

I think this week I'm going to try something new and try to conquer a fear just as Hannah and Olivia challenged (yeah, you probably didn't see their blog post, no worries click here).  That fear: wearing shorts to work out in a class full of skinny people.  I'm going to a hot yoga class in IC and I'm wearing shorts and I'm going to be proud of my body just as it is now.

Yeah this week really sucked, what did you do about it?  You cried and whined to your friends.  Really mature.  Maybe it helped, but now it's time to move past that and move on.  Get out there and live!  Don't think, just do.  I have a feeling this next week's gonna be LEGEN-DAIRY!!!!! 

now I'm hungry so I'm going to go find a snack, then I'm going to go to bed because I'm tired and it's late, and I have to work tomorrow........................night, but still, I got stuff to do tomorrow :)

Good Night Beautiful World!!!

New motto: whenever I'm sad I'm just gonna stop being sad and be AWESOME instead.

Honestly

Honestly - Kelly Clarkson


I was listening to this song earlier/singingalongverypassionately, but that's beside the point and I started really paying attention to the lyrics (which actually make a really good point).
Lyrics go like this:

Could you love somebody like that?  
Could you attract someone like that? 
Could you go where people can see someone like me?  
Could you do that?  
Would you face me? 
Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me? 
You can judge me, love me  
If you're hating me, do it honestly 
All I see are stepford-like lives  
Needles and knives, beautiful lies  
Bringing out the green in your eyes  
Perfect disguise for envy and pride 
Face me 
Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me 
You can 
Judge me, love me 
If you're hating me, do it honestly
You can tell, you can tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me 
Face me 
Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me  
You can judge me, love me  
If you're hating me… 
Would you face me? Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me Judge me, love me If you're hating me, do it honestly
You can tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me
 
Do it Honestly

Point being: if you're in any sort of relationship (friendship/family/romantic/whatever) it is better to stay honest and put everything out there honestly rather than keep it inside until it builds and eventually boils over hurting everyone involved.  

Let's face it, often times the truth hurts, but we would rather hear the truth right away than let a person stew over it, talk behind your back about it to others, and build it up in their head until it's something much worse than what it started out.

Honesty is hard, it SUCKS to hurt people's feelings and it SUCKS to feel hurt.  But more often than not it's what needs to happen.  We are doing a greater injury when we are not honest with each other.  

This is one of those "stupid things girls do" (I am soooo incredibly guilty of this it's not even funny), we are so afraid of hurting people with our honesty that we find ways around it.  This is where every single break-up cliche in the history of the world came from ("it's not you, it's me..." "I need some time to be alone and think..." "We can still be friends..." "etc.").  Girls don't like not being liked, we don't like it when people are mad at us that's why we say these things, but we don't realize it would be easier on the guy if we would just say "This is why I don't want to be with you...let's break up."  You could probably have avoided the break-up in the first place if you were just honest with him the entire time and told him right away when something hurt/bothered you so you could work it out together (and if he couldn't handle your honesty and broke up with you right then and there then he wasn't worth your time anyway and you just saved a few months of your life).

This doesn't just apply to break-ups though, it applies to friendships as well.  If you are honest with your friends all of the time (and they are honest with you) you will hopefully never grow to resent them or have reason to hold a grudge.  Otherwise little things build, drama happens, huge fight goes down, and you don't speak for 3 weeks/months/years.  With this though, you have to have an understanding that you want your friends to be honest with you and you want to be honest with them.  It's no lie, some people can't handle the truth and would rather just obliviously frolic through life until one day adult-hood slaps them in the face.  I try to avoid these people because they piss me off, you can decide how you handle them.

Finally, roommates - same thing.  Be honest or stuff's going to build up and you're going to HATE each other which sucks because you have to live together.  Also, in college, unless you or your roommate has some major issue with it, you will eventually be comfortable enough to change in your room, get this over with on the first day so you don't have that awkward first week or month or whatever.  Simply say: "I don't care if you or change in here, do you have any objections?" or something similar.  Way less awkward.

Closing - if you haven't gotten my point by now I don't think you're going to so you can stop reading now.  

*Disclaimer* - I am a huge hypocrite because I do these things too, if you wanna judge me leave a comment, if not feel free to comment anyway.

Also, I don't know why the bottom part of this post is white and I don't care enough to fix it ;)

(Lyrics Copied from MetroLyrics.com)

Who I would be if I was a character in my favorite TV shows...

Title says it all, here we go (in no particular order):

Vampire Diaries
A lower-maintenance Caroline who dresses more like Elena and isn't a cheerleader.
Why?  I'm a little neurotic (way less than her, but still), I am on par with her lack of self-confidence/esteem, I'm pretty random (she has some random moments) and I'm fiercely loyal of my friends and family.

Gilmore Girls:
Lorelai minus the whole teen pregnancy deal.  One word: sarcasm....few more: movie/tv buff.

E.R.:
Neela, I'm book smart like her, but nervous in social situations

Alias:
Sydney cuz I'm b.a. like that.

Grey's Anatomy:
Christina Yang, I can be driven like she is and I'm kind of a slob (I don't like cleaning, but I also don't like messes, I'm constantly at war with myself)

How I Met Your Mother:
Lily because I'm definitely not Robin.

Smash:
Karen - she's from IA

Wizards of Waverly Place:
Alex, middle child, sarcastic, devious, and clever, nuff said.

Veronica Mars:
Veronica Mars - Short, blonde, Criminal Justice major

Bones:
Bones?  I really don't know.

I realize this post really wasn't that serious, but at least I wrote the entire thing, no copying or pasting so ha.

Just for Fun

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)

2. Put it on shuffle...


3. Press play...


4. For every question, type the song that's playing...


5. When you go to a new question, press the next button...


6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... a lot of the songs fit with the setting.
  
Opening Credits:
Live Like There's No Tomorrow - Selena Gomez and the Scene

Waking Up:
Ocean Wide - The Afters
 
First Day At School:
You and I - Ingrid Michaelson (this song never fails to make me smile)

Falling In Love:
Ghost of You - Selena Gomez and the Scene

Fight Song:
Ready 2 Go - Martin Solveig ft.Kele

Breaking Up:
Eyes Open - Taylor Swift (love Love LOVE this song)

Prom:
Let the Rain - Sara Bareilles
 
Life: 
Life in Technicolor II - Coldplay
 
Mental Breakdown: 
Mr. Know It All - Kelly Clarkson
 
 Driving:
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
 
Flashback: 
Wild Ones - Flo Rida
 
Getting back together:
Fully Alive - Flyleaf
 
Wedding: 
Thunderstruck - ACDC (TOTALLY gonna walk down the aisle to this....you just figure out if I'm kidding)

Birth of Child: 
PYT - Glee (guess it's a girl!)
 
Final Battle: 
My Body - Young the Giant

Death Scene
Kaleidoscope Heart - Sara Bareilles
 
Funeral Song:
I Dreamed a Dream - Glee
 
End Credits: 
Someone Like You - Adele

Too sad to sleep = RANDOMENESS brought to you by someone else's teenage angst (because I'm no longer a teenager)

This is seriously going to get personal, you ready? fo sho!
 

If you were caught cheating, would you fess up? yep, but I would never cheat so it shouldn't be a problem
 

The last time you felt honestly broken? from saturday around 4p.m. to the present moment in time
 

Are you craving something? THAI FOOD!!!!!!
 

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? peace (maybe world peace, but i'd settle for personal peace)
 

Would you rather have ten kids, or none? oooo tough, i feel like ten kids would kill me but it would definitely be an adventure; 10 kids, final answer
 

What do you hear right now? "King of Anything" - Sara Bareilles
 

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? yep, it's in a corner
 

... What’s on your mind right now? lot's o' schtuff, i'm a multitasker, mostly i'm just singing along to the song in my head trying not to think too much
 

Are you there for your friends? As much as I can be
 

Last person to see you cry? I think Mom...could have been John, I've been a fountain lately
 

What do you do when you get nervous? play with my hair, make awkward faces
 

Be honest, do you like people in general? I think I do, but not if they're crappy drivers
 

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? i'm going to close my eyes and hit the keyboard....374....I'm going to live FOEVA!!!!
 

Does anyone completely understand you? I don't even understand me, I'm a very complicated human
 

Do you have a reason to smile right now? yes, if nothing else when I die I get to go to Heaven which is something to smile about

Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? Nope, but then again I've never almost died
 

Would you be happier if life had a rewind button? Sometimes I think I would but then I realize there is a reason things happen the way they do; God has a specific purpose and plan for me, the rewind button would just screw that up...plus I've seen the movie "Click" and don't particularly fancy ending up alone, fat, and dead on a sidewalk
 

Do you tell your mum or dad everything? do you? (that's a no)
 

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes? absolutely
 

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone? Let me ask my psychic fish

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? yes, yes I can ;)
 

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? I'm trying to think less and just be, but since I must choose, future 

How many hours of sleep do you get a night? lately...between 3 and 7, normally 6-8
 

Are you easy to get along with? Yes as long as you're not particularly judgy
 

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? Absolutely not, we're planning girls night out
 

What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? water....
 

What size bed do you have? 2 twins = EMPORER!!!
 

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? before
 

Do you like the rain? LOVE the rain
 

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? it's possible
 

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? Yeah, ate sushi and LOVED IT!

Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither? goodie goodie with a badass alter ego
 

Who were you last in the car with, besides family? Sophie?  Kari?  I honestly can't remember
 

What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who? HUNGER GAMES with Sophie, Dawn, and Victor!!
 

Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend? no
 

Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? multiple times, it sucks but as Kelly Clarkson so wisely says: what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!!!! (insert fist pump here)
 

Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party? pfffff no...
 

Do you regret a past relationship? nope
 

Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party? have we not established that I love music? CONCERT
 

Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? not really fall so much as drool over, but in all serious no
 

Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry? I'm kinda snarky when I don't get my coffee in the morning sorry Tyler ;)
 

Do you care too much about your appearance? Depends on the day, I'm trying to care less
 

Are you a jealous person? Nope, I'm pretty darn relaxed
 

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yep :) 1 dress and 2 shirts, retail therapy is great
 

Do you miss anyone? yes
 

Last person who made you cry? my bird, but last person was probably my ethics professor last semester (ironic?)

Does your ex piss you off? don't have one
 

What are you doing tomorrow? School, barn, learn the can-can (seriously), run the dog, cry, whine about being tired, coffee, sing my heart out in the car, braid my hair, eat something, test, attempt to sleep not in that order
 

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week? Nope
 

Is there anyone you want to come see you? I'm kind of in a loner mood right now so no, but there are people I want to hang out with in the future
 

Have you ever been cheated on? no but I did cheat on butter.....with fake butter....sorry butter
 

Ever given your all to someone who walked away? not really
 

Do you like cotton candy? yes and no, it's gross but I eat it anyway
 

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? Renee

Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17? and that ship has sailed :)  I am no longer at risk for teen pregnancy, shucks I guess being on "Teen Mom" is no longer a potential career
 

Do you have siblings? 2 of em
 

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? yes, Sparx on Saturday, but she fell asleep in my lap tonight so we're even (Sparx is a dog)
 

How has the past week been for you? shi-tasctic
 

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? many in fact
 

What’s on your mind right now? changing the song...."Toxic" ew why is that on here
 

What were you doing at midnight last night? crying myself to sleep while watching "Biggest Loser" re-runs (yes I am that cool)
 

What is your current mood? melancholy with a dash of sassy
 

Who was the first person you talked to today? Mom, kind of a half asleep statement of "morning..."
 

Will this week be a good one? hopefully it will get better, I think I've hit my bottom so nowhere to go but up

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? yes...i think
 

Who were you with last night? when?  early night Sophie and John and tons of mall people, then Panera people, then my horse, then family, then no one 

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? no
 

Next time you will kiss someone? tbd

Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy? BOY
 

Do you have any plans for the weekend?take-home test, barn, run the dog, 11 hours of work (possibly more), more singing, probably more crying, hopefully lots of laughter, chillin with friends, various shenanigans

The end.....almost

 

Shout out to all the teenage angsters out there, do not let one little happening ruin your life.  You have been soooo blessed in so many other ways: you have a home, you have a loving family, you have enough food, you have clothes, you have shoes, you aren't dying, no one you love is dying (maybe someone died, but you'll see them again), life is too damn short to be constantly looking back at mistakes you've made.  Look to the future, but mostly just exist in the moment.

Music Notes

I don't know if you've noticed but I really have a thing for music.  I know what you're thinking "What!?!?!  I would never have guessed!!!  You only post about music like every other second, which would never EVER have tipped us off that you like music."  To which I reply "I know.....shocking." 

When life REALLY sucks (for instance: right now) music allows me to channel all of my sad/depressing/ugly emotions into something beautiful.  My emotions somehow fuel my confidence allowing me to sing loud and proud.  Producing a beautiful sound then allows me to feel better about life thus making my life suck a little less.  I can find a song for just about every situation life throws at me that allows me to express my feelings, process them, and start moving on.

It keeps me motivated when I'm running by allowing me to escape to some my world of pain for a while and connect to the music with my pace.  In the same way, when riding, music allows me to connect to the movements of my horse as well as control our speed.

Life also allows me to just lose myself, jam out, and have an awesome time dancing around like an idiot to embarrassing songs that I love (see older post "Songs that...").  I may look ridiculous, but I feel great.

In short music is part of who I am and I hope I never lose that part of me.

If I had to pick one song to describe me I would pick...

That Darn Diet

Broke my diet for the weekend and now I'm feeling sickly proving that the diet works and nagging at me to get back on it :p  So it's going to become a staple for me - minimal grains (I'm not going to kill myself to avoid them but I'm not going to kill myself by eating them either).  I also kinda maybe might have been somewhat eating my feelings this weekend as well so I ate a lot.  Paying for it now though.

Anywhosies, my new review of this diet:
It still gets boring and frustrating but it's not worth it to feed yourself crap that makes you feel tired and glubby.  Thus I recommend this diet to anyone and everyone who wants to look and feel better.  Oh and ladies, the first thing you'll notice when you eat this way is your stomach sucking in (flat. belly.) ;) 

Diet Suggestions:

1. Start slow if you've never been on a restricted diet before.
• Week one: no rice, week 2: no rice or beans, week: 3 no rice, beans, or corn, etc.  
• This should make it somewhat less shocking to you as to what you can and can't eat.  
2. Reward yourself with a non-food thing every week you stick to the diet as well. 
• This will give you something to look forward to and (hopefully) motivate you to stick to your diet.
3. Enjoy the big holidays (just realize you will probably regret it)
• Don't kill yourself trying to stick to the diet when you're at a party (this does NOT mean binge on anything you want)
• If you feel badly afterwards it should just cement your resolve to stick with the diet
4. Be strict for the first 6 weeks so you really reap the rewards
• Seriously.
5. After the first 6 weeks make it what you want
• Ex. I'm adding quinoa to my diet as well as the occasional aged cheese, when I eat Mexican I will be eating chips and salsa, when we go somewhere with gluten free bread options I will indulge every once in a while but I will NOT be buying these items (all the time) to have at home

"I Lift My Hands"

This is an AMAZING song!

Bluebird

Pets are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  We tell them our innermost thoughts and deepest secrets.  They always seem to know how to comfort us when we're down and how to make us smile even when we're not down.  They are our closest companions and oldest friends.  No matter how long they are in your life they make a difference because they manage to find a way into our hearts.  This is why it is such an agonizing experience when we lose them, they're our kids.

Last night the bird I've had for nine years past away.  He's been around for almost half of my life and now there's just a miserable hole where he was.  I don't remember what it's like not to have a pet in the house and it seems deafeningly quiet without his constant chatter.  It's horrible and I don't understand why he had to die this weekend of all weekends or why God makes their lives so short and ours so long.  A really good friend shared with me that she believes God made it this way so that we could spend time with more of them.  It's a special kind of pain when they die though, it comes with it's own wound which takes what seems like forever to heal.  But we do heal and we do let new animals into our hearts and we are happy again.  We are offered another beginning but we never forget our last beginning's end.

In Loving Memory of Orville!

Beliefs

While we're on the subject of not apologizing for who we are and just being ourselves I am going to apologetically share my beliefs with whoever occasionally peruses this blog.  I am a Lutheran Christian and a broken person; these are my beliefs:

I don't claim to be better than anyone else, I sin just like everyone else.  I do not see it as my place or the church's place to judge people for who they are, what they've done, or how they live (John 8:7).  How can we judge someone for their sins when we have sinned in equal measure?  Answer: we can't, only God is without sin so only He can judge.  It's like the song  "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi, God's message is a message of love, it's only when humans think that their job as Christians is to make sinners repent that this message becomes warped.  Our job is to spread God's message of love to others so that they might know Jesus' love as well.  We are ALL God's children and He loves each of us as such.  He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to be tortured and murdered in order to wipe clean OUR sins.  Had He not done this we would all be going to hell after death because there is NOTHING we can do to make up for our sins.  Only by falling on Jesus sinlessness and crucifixion can we rise to eternal life in heaven.  What's awesome about this is that it DOESN'T matter what we've done, how we've lived, the countless sins we've committed, none of it matters because Jesus died for each and every one of us.  We are all saved, we have all been rescued, we are free from sin.

These are a few songs that really spoke to me about faith and God's love:
  



Happy Easter!  He is Risen indeed!  Alleluia!

YOU ARE LOVED!!!  NOTHING can separate you from that LOVE!!

The Best Thing You Have to Offer the World is That There's Only One of YOU

Girls are probably the most competitive beings on the planet.  Why are we this way?  Because this is how we've been conditioned to act by the media, by school, by work, by our very culture.  We have been trained to judge each other first because we are often insecure with our own bodies/personalities/everything else.  This insecurity then causes us to strive to be someone we're not (be it in looks, popularity, athleticism, what-have-you) and we compare ourselves to others.  When we see a girl who we think is better than us in some way our immediate reaction is to consider her a threat and become offended by her (she could be the coolest, nicest, weirdest person in the world but we immediately write her off because we think she outshines us somehow and therefore don't want to be around her.  This reaction causes us to be petty, judgy, little people who no one likes.

A few of the stupid things we do:

• Try to outdo each other with stories
• Ex. "One time I was driving and I almost hit a deer"  "One time I was driving, I did hit a deer but didn't kill it I put it in the bed of my pick-up and rushed it to the nearest hospital where a surgeon saved it's life."  "You got that from Grey's Anatomy didn't you?"  "Pfff what!?!? no."
• Immediately try to find faults in other girls to make ourselves feel better
• That girl's thighs touch
• She laughs weird
• What is with her hair
• She can't sing
• Et cetera
• Hide our true personalities
• We all try to be the same because we want to fit in
• Set impossible goals for ourselves
• Ex. By next week I will have grown 4 inches, lost 20 pounds, be able to sing like Kelly Clarkson, and dance like Cheryl Burke
• Ex. I will maintain straight A's throughout my entire college career
• Hold grudges
• Ex. The other day, Becky criticized my paper I'm going to hate her fo. ev. a!
• Over-analyze EVERYTHING
• Your boyfriend is being super quiet and acts kinda mad
• You think: "What did I do to make him so mad and why won't he talk about it!?!?"
• Reality: He got pooped on by a bird
• Act like we're all enemies 

All of this could be prevented if we would just accept ourselves for who we are and stop COMPARING ourselves to other people.  This is way easier said than done because everything in our lives up to this point have been conditioning us to do otherwise.  It is not easy to uncondition someone (just read the third Hunger Games book).  If we can just be ourselves and stop being threatened by other girls we can all stop trying to beat each other out.  We don't actually have to compete with each other, we can be friends, we just need to stop trying to outdo each other.

Here's my challenge to you this week/month/year/day/next 30 minutes/whatever:
For the next predetermined amount of time, STOP being self-conscious and just try to have fun with life, DON'T compare yourself to anyone (because it is physically impossible for you to become them), COMPLIMENT a complete stranger (or someone you don't think you like but have never actually gotten to know), BE yourself without remorse, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect, you're human, you will make mistakes but life is too damn short to be worried about what you will do, try to live in the here and now.

Now go do it!  Happy weekend!

She Sprikens the Truth

I (like the general population) waste a LOT of time on the internet.  That amount of time went drastically up after I discovered the Jenna Marbles (Mourey).  Her videos are hilarious to stay the least (it's-funny-cuz-it's-true type of funny).  Despite their hilarity there is some major truth in them (truth that sometimes you don't want to hear).  She puts out videos every Wednesday and today's video was about diets (which I just found laughably ironic) so I was then inspired to post some of my favorite Jenna Marble videos.

*Disclaimer #1 - these videos are highly addictive, do not view if you are attempting to write a paper or study for an impending test*

*Disclaimer #2 - she swears.....a lot, don't watch if it offends you*



What Girls do in the Car

How to Get Ready for a Date - oh sarcasm

How to Talk to Animals

What Caffeine Does

How to Avoid People You Don't Want to Talk to

How Girls Watch TV

How a Diet Works


So you are now either addicted, nodding your head and going "oh yeah, these are my favorites too, this blog-writer-person has good taste," or disgusted, but I don't really care because these they make me laugh when I'm having a bad day so that's really all I care about.

Enjoy! :)

 

Time to go shopping for a nice sports bra!

What is it?
The Sports Bra Challenge is a day-long charity fitness centered around women working out in a series of group fitness classes in their sports bras. Come out to support and empower one another to feel comfortable in our bodies – exactly as we are. Get in on this epic celebration of our bodies and support S.E.A.K. Foundation and City of Hope’s Positive Image Center, which helps cancer patients regain and retain confidence in how they look while undergoing treatment. - S.E.A.K. Foundation 



 So this is something I am very excited for because body image is something I struggle with every day (as do billions of other women).  I am an avid fan of The Biggest Loser on NBC (even though it's not as good without Jillian but I digress) and 2 of the 3 ladies in the following video are the winner and runner up of season 11 (their blog <= Check it out!).  They are my inspiration for getting healthy(er), and I think this is an excellent cause so I will definitely be participating in some way (it would be FANTASTIC if I could actually get to New York, but that's doubtful so I'll prolly just walk around in a sports bra all day) and I hope others will join me. 

More information about S.E.A.K.

I think this picture is AWESOME!

"We believe that once you let go of the insecurities that hold you back, both physically and mentally, you can achieve anything."

Songs that....

I Love:
If I Die Young - The Band Perry
Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran
Turn to Stone - Ingrid Michaelson
Blessed Redeemer - Casting Crowns
I Want the Sky - Lucy Schwartz
The Sun Will Rise - Kelly Clarkson
Clocks - Coldplay
Blow Away - A Fine Frenzy
Come Home - OneRepublic
Let the Rain - Sara Bareilles (as well as all of her other songs)
Who Says - Selena Gomez and the Scene
Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars
Eternal Flame - Bangles
Jar of Hearts and Distance - (both by) Christina Perri 

I (somewhat embarrassingly) Jam Out to:
What Doesn't Kill You - Kelly Clarkson (and most of the rest of her music)
Raise Your Glass - P!nk
Fake ID - Big & Rich
Hello - Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette
We are Young - Glee Cast
Animal - Neon Trees
Smooth Criminal - Glee Cast
What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club
Closing Time - Semisonic
Change of Seasons - Sweet Thing
SPACE JAM!!!!
I'll Be Waiting - Adele
Without You - David Guetta and/or Glee
Shake it Out - Florence and the Machine
24 - Jem
Hawk Eyes - The Kicks
Hit the Lights - Selena Gomez and the Scene
Blame it on the Girls - Mika
and many MANY more


I am Embarrassed to sing but rock out to anyway:
Get Some - Lykke Li (me when I listen to this song - sans alcohol)
Sexy and I Know it - LMFAO
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Dragostea Din Tei - O-zone
Stuck Like Glue - Sugarland
Baby - and host of other songs by J. Biebs
Teardrops on My Guitar - Taylor Swift
Take it Off/Tik Tok/We R Who We R - Ke$ha (key-dollar sign-ha) - you can find these on your own
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Love Today - Mika
Love You Like a Love Song- Selena Gomez and the Scene
Redneck Woman - Gretchen Wilson
and there are probably more....

You should listen to RIGHT NOW b/c their so AWESOME!
Eyes Open - Taylor Swift


This=Love - The Script


Gonna Get Over You - Sara Bareilles (I just love the music video)


There's many Many MANY more amazing songs out there, these are just a few of my favorites, enjoy! :)

It's Official

I sold a book on Amazon! :)  the. end.