Today I'm going to rant about one of my greatest pet peeves: the cattiness of women and their resulting inability to accept each other. I'm not going to lie, I've been guilty of this jealousy-fueled act of nonacceptance. I'm the first to admit I'm not in love with my body, I'm constantly at war with myself about weight loss, I don't like the way I look or feel and I want to change it. I find it impossible to accept myself as I am, which is a very bad thing, and I am not alone. This is a problem most women grapple with regardless of their size. Part of this is due to our perfectionistic culture that is constantly telling us we can be better than we are, and part of this is due to our willingness to buy into it. We believe that we aren't good enough so we take it out on the people we think have what we want; we feel the need to knock them down a peg so that we feel better about ourselves. Guess what!?! We aren't other people and other people aren't us - we are all different and that is a beautiful thing! How about we all start appreciating each other for who we are, not what we look like and stop instantly sizing each other up for judgement. That girl you're bigger than probably doesn't think you're a fat cow unworthy of her attention, she's probably a nice person who would make you a cup of tea and try to get to know you (unless she's Regina George, if that's the case, don't worry, she'll get hers). That other girl who's perhaps a bit heftier than you probably doesn't think you're a skinny twit who hates everyone, she would probably take you to coffee and want to know more about your life. So let's quit treating each other like crap and start at least acknowledging that we are all muddling through the sticky trap of life together and treat each other with decency that fellow humans deserve.
That being said, let's talk about "Skinny Hate." Yes some people like to rag on women who are thinner than the norm, and praise more "full-figured" women for not starving themselves. Note to those people, some people have really fast metabolisms that don't allow them to gain weight easily, just like some people have slower metabolisms that make it hell for them to lose weight - the road goes both ways, get over it! Other women are required to eat diets that make weight gain difficult and weight loss overly easy due to MEDICAL REASONS. Other women are athletes and their svelte figures are the product of their professions. Yet others like maintaining a lower weight, as long as this is done healthfully this is completely fine (and if a woman is keeping her weight done unhealthfully she needs your LOVE and SUPPORT, not your criticism)! All of these reasons are completely fine, so lay off, you're ruining it for the rest of us who just want to be able to accept our body sizes without being accused of being a skinny hater. That's right thinner people, not all of us who don't feel the need to be as thin as you hate you, some of us just want to feel ok in our own bodies. There is no happy medium anymore! I can't be thin because then I'm unhealthy or a sell-out and I can't not want to lose weight because then I'm a "skinny-hater," what does that leave for me to be? Unhappy, depressed, anxious, and angry. I can't win, no one can!
Back to the beginning now, knock it off! If a woman says she's happy with her body, support her! If she says she's unhappy with her body, talk to her about it, love her and support her! Stop calling people too thin and too fat and just accept them for who and how they are. This is all becoming very cliche so I'm going to cut myself off now.
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