You should probably just chill

Everyone gets hot-headed and impatient sometimes, when this happens you tend to look like a pretentious douche.  In order to avoid looking like a pretentious douche you might want to try these things (otherwise you may end up ingesting your waiter's saliva):

1. When the wait staff at a restaurant is being slow, look around and ask yourself "are they busy?"  Think of all the potential reasons your waiter may be slow, then think how you would feel if you were the waiter and some jerk whined to you about not being your number one priority in life.  Finally just relax and enjoy the ambiance, if you can't do that, just get up and leave, don't let the situation escalate.
2. When someone driving really slow pulls out in front of you, cutting you off, turn up your music and enjoy some "you-time."  If you're in a hurry decide that it's ok if you're a few minutes late (unless someone's dying or having a baby, then you go right ahead and blow by that sucker, just realize you may be risking a ticket/accident).
3. When some other pretentious douche is tailgating you, instead of stomping on your brakes risking an accident, simply let off the gas, coast, and lightly swerve.  Smile at him till he gets the message.  Never EVER let him bully you into speeding up, then he wins :p
4. When you're at your job and someone comes in and yells at you for anything, smile, it'll drive them nuts.  
5. When someone makes you feel small don't go cry in a corner, examine why that person is in your life.  If they're important to you then they'll understand that you're upset.  If it's a random person you'll probably never see again forget about them.  If it's your boss or someone you work with decide if the job is worth the stress.  If it happens all the time, it's time to change your situation, you're worth more than that treatment!
6. When someone looks at you like you are the strangest, most disgusting thing they've ever seen smile at them...maybe wink it'll really freak them out.
7. When someone is judging you for the music you listen to, realize you're ok with you who you are and they have no right to judge you for it.  It means they're probably more insecure than you are, pat yourself on the back and DON'T judge them back.
8. Whenever troubles come recognize all of the blessings in your life and be willing to take the bad with the good.

That's my advice for life, take it, don't take it, it's up to you.
Mostly unrelated but it made me laugh: