Have we established that I am an incredibly emotional person? If not, I am an incredibly emotional person; I feel everything. This is why music is so important to me; I love being able to emulate the emotions the song is intended to evoke. When I sing, I am feeling the emotions of the song. This is also why I can act well. Sometimes I can act so well that I fool myself (and if I was thirty pounds lighter, 4-7 inches taller, and willing to give up chocolate I could be a professional actress but for now I'll settle for stunt rider). This is a big problem. I can convince myself that everything is ok, that if I just keep going the direction I'm going all the bad stuff will simply stop existing or at least stop bothering me but this is a terrible lie (which is sad because I'm a pretty darn good liar). Trying to ignore things just makes me bitter/grouchful/annoyed and for lack of a more succinct phrase, turns me into a bitch. Not fun for anyone, especially me because I become antisocial, mopy, and guilt-ridden for my bitchiness. I am currently in this scarybad place. I'm wallowing over something that I need to do and crying about the past; it's a little ridiculous. So ridiculous in fact that it's turned me into one of those angsty teens (minus the teen part) that I was ridiculing earlier this year....ugh (shudder).
Anyway I think the point of this post was something along the lines of I feel everything because I'm very emotional and now I'm feeling really low and stressed which sucks because it's summer and summer is supposed to be fun and it's not been so far....it's been a big ball of suck. I need to make some changes and feel better.....Clarkson knows.....
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