I Swear I Lived

I think deciding studying abroad was one of the best decisions I ever made.  It both excited and terrified me - I've never truly been away from home, my university is less than 10 miles from my house.  This experience has made me new and I will be forever thankful for it!  There have been joys, and there have been struggles, but most importantly there has been growth.  Now I realise this is a post one might expect to see at the end of my trip.  I have 3 weeks left, this doesn't change how much I've already grown.  I'm currently sitting in my hotel room alone, preparing to venture out into Cork, Ireland by myself (until I meet up with my Grandma and brother in about an hour).  I got here on my own, and that's something I'm proud of.  I'm so scared of being alone in the world, it's actually my #1 fear.  I love people, and I love being loved, it's what makes life worth the struggles this world poses.  This adventure has made me realise that I'm never alone, God's with me and loves me all the time regardless of where I am and what I do.  I feel so good right now, I'm excited to see my family and find out what Ireland has to offer!

I was listening to the song I Lived by OneRepublic this morning.  I've posted it before, but the lyrics are so relevant to this experience.

Hope when you take that jump
You dont feel the fall
Hope when the water rises
You built a wall
Hope when the crowd screams
They're screaming your name
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love
And it hurts so bad
The only way you can know
You gave it all you had
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
Hope when the moment comes,
You'll say

I, I, I
I did it all
I, I, I
I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived

Hope that you spend your days
And they all add up
And when that sun goes down
Hope you raise your cup
Oh, oh oh
I wish that I could witness
All your joy
And all your pain
But until my moment comes
I'll say

I, I, I
I did it all
I, I, I
I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived

Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh (x4)

With every broken bone
I swear I lived
With every broken bone
I swear I

I, I, I
I did it all
I, I, I
I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived

Truly living and experiencing life isn't all eating rainbows and farting butterflies - you will face struggles, stress, and fear.  Every bump in the road, every scar is evidence that you lived, all the pain you feel (EVERYTHING you feel) is proof that you're alive right now.  You can't live your life avoiding things that scare you or you won't live.  This is how we can find joy in every situation - it's life.  I can truly say, that I'm living right now.  I'm so thankful for this opportunity, and though I may complain a lot, the positives outweigh the negatives thousands of times.  God has used this opportunity to do some great things in my life, my life has been changed.  I'm excited to continue living, not just here, but home as well.  I can't wait to take the new me, back to my home and see what I do with this new perspective.

Alright, enough deep thinking for today, time to get ready to explore Ireland!  Love and miss you all!

Here's another song since I've posted the first one before: