Time to Put on Your Grown-up Pants....Trousers

Today, the 22^nd of November 2013, I am travelling alone like a big girl.  So far I have taken 2 trains and am sitting (semi)patiently in Gatwick Airport (is it pronounced Gat-wick or Gat-ick.?).  This adventure of travelling solo has stressed me out since I found out I lost my travel buddy, but now that I’m here it’s really not a big deal.  It’s not terribly scary or exciting; it’s mostly boring (I got here way too early).  It is kind of fun to people watch and wonder if I’m being people-watched myself.  It’s also been a good opportunity to write some blogs and do some reading (should’ve brought homework...oh darn).  However, outlets are few and far between once you’re through security.  My netbook has 6 hours of life, but my phone refuses to completely charge and/or hold a charge so  it’s a bit frustrating in that aspect.  I’ll probably go hunt one down in an hour or so, just so I have enough life for the flight.  I hate flying so I’m definitely going to need a distraction.  Once I land, all that’s left to do is find a taxi to take me to my B&B (where there is WiFi).  Pretty straightforward stuff – not really anything to stress about (although I’m a bit apprehensive that my luggage is going to get lost – not really sure why, but it’s a feeling I can’t shake).

I don’t know if I every use the term irony correctly, but I’m going to use it anyway.  I find it (potentially) ironic that I did very little planning for this trip.  I pretty much just threw my entire wardrobe, essential electronics, and toiletries into a suitcase/backpack.  I’m pretty impressed I got everything to fit.  I did make sure to have clothing in my carry-on just in case.  I didn’t make detailed packing lists or plan out my days; I just sorta went for it and hoped that I got everything.  It was a stressful week and now I’m sick.  I haven’t slept much, and am starting to feel that – hopefully I sleep on the plane. 

Let’s recount the mishaps of the week:

1.       Canceling hostels at the last minute
2.       Writing and turning in my paper at the last minute (due while I’m abroad so I technically turned it in early)
3.       Phone battery crapping out (this means limited pictures from here on out)
4.       Paying my credit card bill and realising that I’m poor
5.       Finding out that one of my cards was a temporary card and the real card was mailed to my US address (another one is being mailed to my UK address, should arrive in 7-10 business days)
6.       Not sleeping more than a few hours in the past couple days
7.       Struggling with a lack of control
8.       Burning cookies
9.       Overflowing my oatmeal
10.   Magical giant bruise on the back of my leg – source unknown
11.   Massive Homesickness
12.   Ripping my boarding pass

Let’s recount why all these things are positive forces in my life:

1.       It got done without any extra charges (other than stress)
2.       I no longer have to worry about it
3.       Realisation how much power a stupid piece of technology has over my emotions
4.       Being a responsible adult – learning to budget
5.       Practice in patience
6.       There is no good here – maybe it’ll help me sleep on the plane
7.       Learning (slowly) to give control up to God
8.       They wouldn’t have all fit in my travel container anyway
9.       Laughable moment – par for the course
10.   Something to ponder and show off to friends – I could say I kicked a guy in the head...with my calf
11.   The excitement of meeting family in Ireland far outweighed the stress of the lonesome journey – it’s what keeps me going
12.   Another opportunity for growth in the stress-management dept.

I’ve been equally dreading and looking forward to this trip all week.  Travelling alone, while a little stressful, is an amazing opportunity for some massive growth and reflection.  I’m discovering that I am capable of being an adult.  I am independent, and I don’t need someone to hold my hand every step of the way.  Sometimes I think I am a weak person or at least feel that this is how I am perceived.  I am a very emotional person (I don’t have enough emotions to crash a different school’s girl-bullying-healing-sharing-of-wrongs, but I do have a lot of emotions – that was a poorly executed Mean Girls reference).  I hate how emotional I am, I hate how easily my emotions are influenced by life events, and I hate how apparent my emotions are to others.  I wish I could hide them, nay, I wish I didn’t have to feel them all the time.  This is stupid, I shouldn’t be ashamed of having emotions – unfortunately today’s society has ingrained in me that I must be tough – only weaklings cry.  I digress; this is going too deep for a day like today.  Back to my point, I’m finding that I can rise to the occasion and control my emotions instead of letting them control me. 

When you’re travelling by yourself in a different country you are truly on your own.  If you forget something, sucks ta suck, nobody’s going to bring it to you.  You have to be able to sort out tough situations and keep a level head when something goes wrong, trusting that it will eventually get sorted out.  There is no room for tears, you have to keep it together and keep a level head.  I make this sound like you’re going to war – it’s really not that bad.  It’s just a different feeling being totally on your own – terrifying and empowering.  That pretty much sums up studying abroad as well. 

Later that day...

So right after I wrote this, I realised that my phone was missing (my pay-as-you-go English phone) – panic ensued, followed shortly by action.  I retraced my steps, and informed security.  Security was REALLY helpful!  They weren’t terribly condescending and they legitimately wanted to help me find it.  They reran my bag through the scanner to count the electronic devices, confirming that it was not in my bag, then (with my permission) searched my bag (carefully and respectfully) just to be sure.  They were also conscious of my departure time and sent me to my gate while they check CCTV security footage – that is dedication!  All that for my tiny phone worth 30 quid (plus the extra 15 I JUST topped up, but I’m not bitter).  I was thoroughly impressed.  I don’t have my phone, but I’ll be ok without it for now.  I might go get a cheaper one when I get back to Canterbury, or just try to make do without since I will only have 3 weeks left.

After that I enjoyed a peaceful and beautiful flight to Ireland.  I HATE flying so for me to say these things is proof that God is Good! ;)

I am now at the B&B debating sleep vs. food – it’s only 4:30pm and I’m ready for bed.  At this point I think I’m just going to curl up in bed with my book or a movie and if I fall asleep in the next couple hours that’s fine, and if not, I’ll venture into town for food (it’s a €7 bus ride away).  I’m definitely ill, but I’m not going to let it stop me from enjoying my Irish adventure!

Today was good.  I made it, all my luggage made it, and I’m really relaxed.  God is Good!