Girls are probably the most competitive beings on the planet. Why are we this way? Because this is how we've been conditioned to act by the media, by school, by work, by our very culture. We have been trained to judge each other first because we are often insecure with our own bodies/personalities/everything else. This insecurity then causes us to strive to be someone we're not (be it in looks, popularity, athleticism, what-have-you) and we compare ourselves to others. When we see a girl who we think is better than us in some way our immediate reaction is to consider her a threat and become offended by her (she could be the coolest, nicest, weirdest person in the world but we immediately write her off because we think she outshines us somehow and therefore don't want to be around her. This reaction causes us to be petty, judgy, little people who no one likes.
A few of the stupid things we do:
- Try to outdo each other with stories
- Ex. "One time I was driving and I almost hit a deer" "One time I was driving, I did hit a deer but didn't kill it I put it in the bed of my pick-up and rushed it to the nearest hospital where a surgeon saved it's life." "You got that from Grey's Anatomy didn't you?" "Pfff what!?!? no."
- Immediately try to find faults in other girls to make ourselves feel better
- That girl's thighs touch
- She laughs weird
- What is with her hair
- She can't sing
- Et cetera
- Hide our true personalities
- We all try to be the same because we want to fit in
- Set impossible goals for ourselves
- Ex. By next week I will have grown 4 inches, lost 20 pounds, be able to sing like Kelly Clarkson, and dance like Cheryl Burke
- Ex. I will maintain straight A's throughout my entire college career
- Hold grudges
- Ex. The other day, Becky criticized my paper I'm going to hate her fo. ev. a!
- Over-analyze EVERYTHING
- Your boyfriend is being super quiet and acts kinda mad
- You think: "What did I do to make him so mad and why won't he talk about it!?!?"
- Reality: He got pooped on by a bird
- Act like we're all enemies
All of this could be prevented if we would just accept ourselves for who we are and stop COMPARING ourselves to other people. This is way easier said than done because everything in our lives up to this point have been conditioning us to do otherwise. It is not easy to uncondition someone (just read the third Hunger Games book). If we can just be ourselves and stop being threatened by other girls we can all stop trying to beat each other out. We don't actually have to compete with each other, we can be friends, we just need to stop trying to outdo each other.
Here's my challenge to you this week/month/year/day/next 30 minutes/whatever:
For the next predetermined amount of time, STOP being self-conscious and just try to have fun with life, DON'T compare yourself to anyone (because it is physically impossible for you to become them), COMPLIMENT a complete stranger (or someone you don't think you like but have never actually gotten to know), BE yourself without remorse, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect, you're human, you will make mistakes but life is too damn short to be worried about what you will do, try to live in the here and now.
Now go do it! Happy weekend!
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