Fear Itself

Imagine not being afraid of anything.  I know what you're thinking, you'd probably do some really stupid things and wind up murdered in a back alley and there's probably some truth there.  Actually legit. . . .imate fear is there for a reason, to let you know when something is awry.  There are things you do need to be afraid of, rapists and serial killers to name a couple.  At the same time you shouldn't live in fear of these things, just if you get that tingly sensation on the back of your neck when you're walking down a dark alley, alone, late at night (then you can be scared).

My point (which I am doing an excellent {<=sarcasm} job of making) is that there are fears to be headed and then there are insecurities/irrational fears which we so often let control our lives.  These little fears and insecurities often get in the way of our "just living" which I discussed yesterday allowing them to mess up every aspect of our lives, observe:

Relationships:
I don't know about boys but I as a girl am insecure all the time (I'm working on it) about everything.  I look to others for reassurance which get's annoying and can ruin relationships with co-workers friends, family, and significant others.  Instead of being insecure about how I look I should (at least pretend to) exude a b.a. confidence that says "I know how I look and I'm good with it, if you're not I don't give a flying seagull because you don't determine my self-worth, I do."  Even if I just pretend at first, eventually I might find that I actually believe it (I am an excellent liar after all).

I also live in fear of disappointing others.  I don't want to be disliked by anyone (this is a girl thing, we are more socially controlled as children which causes us to develop a deeper bond to society. . .wanna know more? take a sociology or criminology class. . . hey! I did learn something in school!  Glad to know that money's not going to waste).  Anyway this often leads me to suppress my feelings and lie to others to prevent them from getting hurt.  This only leads to depression, an eventual emotional explosion, severely hurting myself, and eventually hurting that person more.  Honesty truly is the best policy (there may be exceptions to this rule - don't EVER tell a woman she looks fat).  Girls I know we don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain but other people don't want to cause yours so tell them how you feel, respect their opinion, and act accordingly (if they can't handle it, they're not worth it).     

Jobs:
If you are constantly scared of screwing up you're not going to have any self-confidence.  If you don't have any self-confidence/constantly second guess yourself you're probably going to screw up.  This, children, is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you find yourself afraid of failure simply realize that failure is a possibility and if you get fired there's something better in store for you.  But to avoid failure in the first place remind yourself that you were hired for a reason, because your company/employer has faith in you, they hired you because they think you're awesome, maybe you should think so too.  If you simply stop being acting and start acting awesome the self-fulfilling prophecy states that eventually you will be awesome instead.

Life in General:
When making life-decisions I ask myself not "Will I regret doing this?" but "Will I regret it if I don't do this?"  Life's too short to regret stuff, make your decisions so you won't.  Simple right :? (sarcasm face).

Florence and the Machine's Thoughts:
"Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments" 
so 
"Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh whoa"

Sara Bareilles' Thoughts:
"I hold on to worry so tight It's safe in here right next to my heart Who now shouts at the top of her voice Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice!"
so
"I want to darken in the skies Open the floodgates up I want to change my mind I want to be enough I want the water in my eyes I want to cry until the end of time...Let the rain come down Make a brand new ground"

In summary we too often live in fear of life itself, we don't want to hurt anyone, we don't want to screw up, we don't want to look bad, etc.  Truth is, these things are inevitable parts of life, we can't really live without doing them.  I just thought something profound but I forgot it. . . . . . . . . . . . yep it's gone, that's what I get for writing late at night.


If we start attempting to live life without these fears we might discover that they happen a little less, my challenge to you (and me) this weak is to a) do something that frightens you (not scares you, frightens you as in terrifies you, confront that sucker and show it it doesn't own you = own it!) or b) assume the confidence, if you're not naturally confident then pretend you are see if your week improves.

Non-optional "challenge" for you for life: Give yourself some credit, every once in a while make yourself a priority.  If someone hurts you don't just take it and hold onto it tell them about it, if they're awesome they'll understand and apologize, if not better to know now.  If you need a break, take a break.  If you need some support call on those you support (aka your friends) they want to be there for you too. 

Good night you awesome-and-totally-worth-it-person(s)!  May your todays be just as good as your tomorrows! :)

P.S. Song relating to my post? of course: